This week’s Rumor Tuesday features little-known facts about the Olympics. Who says I can’t keep up with current events?
Rumor has it… At the first modern Olympics games in 1896 held in Athens, the IOC had waited until only the day before the opening ceremonies to announce that the competitions would not be held in the nude as they had been in the ancient Olympics.
Rumor has it… The International Olympics Committee has never had a medal-winner among its members.
Rumor has it… The torch relay at the 2010 Winter Olympics is set to be the longest relay in Olympic history.
Rumor has it… The words in the Olympic motto “Citius, Altius, Fortius” (Latin meaning “Faster, Higher, Stronger”) have been used as model names for cars, computers, and skateboards.
Rumor has it… 2010 will be the last year for the classic three-tiered rostrum for medal award presentations. All future Olympics will use a single-levelled platform so as not to raise any one competitor above another during the ceremony.
Rumor has it… The mascots for the 2010 Winter Olympics are Miga (a mythical sea bear) and Quatchi (Sasquatch).
Rumor has it… In the entire history of the Olympics, there have been three non-concurrent events known as curling. One is the now-familiar sport using heavy stones on ice. The others were Summer Olympic events: one being a form of lawn tennis using a soft cloth ball stuffed with feathers (1896-1912) and the other being a demonstration event similar to lacrosse combined with bocci (1930-1934).
Rumor has it… Olympic host cities must pass strenuous tests from the IOC regarding air and water quality, siesmic stability, and average intelligence.
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Today’s link is a fun one for science fiction fans. Welcome to the blog of Fred Pohl entitled The Way The future Was. This was the title of his very excellent memoir, and now it’s a blog. This is some pretty interesting reading from one of the original Futurians.
Check it out.
Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010,
by John Teehan,
Filed under: Blogosphere, Fandom, Humor, Rumor, Uncategorized, Writing| |
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This week’s myserious mis-delivered mail features a linen white business envelope with a folded letter within. There are some adhesive marks on the back which suggest that it may have once been attached to a larger package. No package exists here… just the letter. It reads:
Dear Dr. Still,
Several years ago, a member of our editorial board retained you as a consulting reader for our publishing house. Books to be sent to you would be of mystical or supernatural themes, and over the years we have received many submissions which have been turned down without any need for outside consultation. We’ve received a trio of books recently, however, which we are considering publishing if for no other reason than the recent resurgence in interest in the supernatural. the three books we would like you to review for us are:
Ghost Hoses of New England by Sarah Waterstone. At first we thought it might have been a typo and the author had meant to print houses, but upon review–the author truly intended to mean hoses. The author recounts nearly a hundred unlikely tales of haunted fire hoses, garden hoses, watering hoses, industrial hoses, and even emergency medical hoses. The author covers the several types of hoses being haunted: nylon, rubber, flexible metal sheathing, hydraulic, etc. The book sounds amusing at first, but quickly grows tired as the stories tend to have very little to do with actual hauntings and more with the history of hoses in New England.
Ghost Houses of New England by Bradford Fourly. This seems more like what we’re looking for, but rather than being a collection of stories regarding haunted houses in New England, it’s more about houses which are themselves ghosts. To whit, a house that no longer exists except in some ethereal place of existence. At first this sounds very interesting, but the stories all seem to be related by various patrons of bars and saloons. The stories are transcribed verbatim, so the narratives are difficult to follow and trail off-topic into rants about the government, ex-wives, ex-husbands, and requests for small loans. The interview often ends when the storyteller is rebuffed.
Ghost Hauntings of Nude England by Chauncey Bottomwell. It’s exactly what you expect it to be and really needs no further commentary from us. Normally we wouldn’t consider publishing a book of this nature, but we would like your input to determine if there are perhaps deeper, more meaningful layers to this book.
Finally, you may notice certain similarities in style and titling in these three books. Although each book is purported to be written by a different author, and each submission was sent from a different location (Templar, AZ, Providence, RI, and Exeter, UK specifically), we suspect there may be only one author involved. We have not decided yet if this will affect our editorial decisions, but we felt we should let you know that we are aware of the possibility of a single author.
We’re looking forward to your timely input. Please submit an invoice for your consultation services to our accounts department.
Yours sincerely,
Ike Mays
Acquisitions Editor
Four Stone Books
Next up is the familiar rag-papered, crimson inked note. Today’s missive reads:
We are making wagers as to the outcome of the events currently occurring beyond the lights.
When the lights go out, it will be time to pay up.
We await your signal.
(signed)
Unsigned
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Today’s link goes to the webcomic Multiplex - a comic about life at a movie theater. It’s a bunch of college-aged kids with crappy theater jobs, but there are some amusing comments on movies and movie-going. It’s not just a straight gag strip, though. There’s story and character development going on, so you will want to read through the archives to maximize the enjoyment of the strip.
Cheers!
Friday, February 19th, 2010,
by John Teehan,
Filed under: Blogosphere, Book review, Humor, Letters, Publishing, Uncategorized, Writing| |
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Today’s Rumor Tuesday takes a look at the ever-popular lottery system in the United States. Welcome to it. Today’s winning numbers are…
Rumor has it… No lottery number in the US has been drawn in which, when all of the numbers are added up, it has equaled a prime number.
Rumor has it… While it’s commonly believed that lottery jackpot winners tend to lose their new-found fortunes quickly, actual studies show most lottery winners not only retain most of their winnings, but have often invested them and doubled or tripled those winnings within five years.
Rumor has it… Hawaii is the only state in the US not to have a state-sponsored lottery.
Rumor has it… The first modern state-level lottery in the U.S. was established in Puerto Rico in 1934.
Rumor has it… More winning lottery jackpot tickets have been purchased in towns or cities named after American presidents than any other.
Rumor has it… Shirley Jackon’s “The Lottery” was partly inspired by Jackson’s experiences living in North Bennington, Vermont. At the time of writing, Vermont had just licensed lottery sales to supermarkets.
Rumor has it… The Baseball scratch instant-win lottery ticket was introduced in the 1970s and is the longest continuously running scratch ticket in the US.
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Today’s link goes to the homepage for the Independent Spirit Awards now enjoying its 25th year. The nominees have been announced and it looks like a good year. Why should you visit? Because the Spirit Awards are like a fun version of the Oscars. Folks really let their hair down for this one. The Spirit Awards should get an award themselves.
Cheers!
Tuesday, February 16th, 2010,
by John Teehan,
Filed under: Blogosphere, Humor, Rumor, Writing| |
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Today’s awkward mail sent to me, but not for me, comes first in a plain brown business envelope of the sort one doesn’t see much these days. Within on engraved business stationery is thus:
Dear Ms. Malin,
As you know, we pride ourselves on our ability to track down missing persons even on the most slim of clues and information. We believe in thinking outside the box, and always getting results. We admit, however, that your case has forced us to think so far outside the box that we are questioning some of our results and we request some further input from you in regards to your case.
You hired us to locate the father of you and your siblings–a man who disappeared without warning some twenty years ago. You also refused to provide us with any biographical or biological data, and insisted we search for your missing father on a philosophical basis alone. This is way outside the box. Still, we agreed to give it a go.
We hesitate to consider the following a “narrowing down” of the list of possibilities–but more the top ten in our list of potential targets. If you would be so kind as to look over this list and offer some insights, we would appreciate it and feel more confident that we could bring this case to a successful conclusion.
Our investigators have turned up the following possibilities:
- A Cape Verdean short order cook in Tulsa, Oklahoma who owns a complete set of the works of Albert Camus.
- A professor of secular humanism at Hofstra University.
- A chorus girl at an all-drag revue in Flint, Michigan.
- The Dalai Lama
- A diabetic Marist missionary in Burma.
- A retired cartoonist currently living in Cleveland, Ohio.
- An independent film actor and playwright from New York currently supplementing his income with TV commercials and animation voiceovers.
- Three Jewish comediens from Brownsville, New York
- A keyboard player in a German 80s-nostalgia techno band.
- The “missing” Lindbergh baby.
The list may seem a bit all over the map, but I think you’ll agree that they all share certain aspects from the philosophical profile you provided us.
We look forward to hearing from you.
Bernard and Vivian Jaffe
Interconnective Investigations
Next up is the ever-familiar folded note written with crimson ink upon a rag paper. It reads:
To Whom It May Concern:
Have you noticed the increasing number of bank robberies of late?
We have.
We’re just saying.
We await your signal.
(signed)
Unsigned
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Today’s link goes to The Three Stooges Official Website. I mean, come on! Does it get much better than that? Okay, I’m a Marx Bros. kind of guy, but easy fun entertainment is pretty much any Three Stooges short you could ever run across. And I’m a huge fan of the Stooge double-slap sound effect. If I thought it wouldn’t be socially awkward, I’d make it my ringtone.
Cheers!
Friday, February 12th, 2010,
by John Teehan,
Filed under: Blogosphere, Humor, Letters, Movie review, Publishing, Writing| |
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Welcome back to Rumor Tuesday, your one-stop site for interesting factoids–or stuff that sounds like factoids. This week’s edition looks at language–a course of study I was once very devoted to back in my kollege daze. I still enjoy paging through books on the development of language. I heartily recommend Bill Bryson’s The Mother Tongue (July 1990) for an entertaining little book on the histories and vagaries of the English language.
Anyway, on to today’s “facts”:
The term “mano a mano” does not mean “man to man,” but rather “hand to hand” from the Latin word manu-, meaning hand.
Likewise, the phrase “to man a table” is not an inherently sexist term as it also has its roots in Latin from the verb manus(manere) meaning to handle.
It is commonly believed that the Inuit have over a hundred words for “snow.” In actuality they have very few words for snow, but many modifying additives to the base word forming over a hundred different compound words. The more sensationalist belief stems from an attempt by anthropologists to underscore how environment links to language.
The most common word on Earth is “a” and can mean anything from an indefinite article in English to a shade of blue-green in the Ainu language.
Tobogan has four different systems of writing depending on who the writer is: man, woman, priest, or merchant.
There are more tribal dialects known and spoken in the Amazon region of South America than there are currently existing tribes.
“Twin-speak,” the phenomenon in which twins grow up speaking a secret language, has elements (usually in adverb form) that are common among different sets of twins, even twins who have been raised in widely different parts of the world and among widely different base language groups. Some tests have found that twins raised in Scotland can communicate, limitedly, with twins raised in Burma.
The English language has exported more words to other languages than it has imported. 99% of all exported words came into existence within the past one hundred years and are technology-related. 90% of all imported words are either food, clothing or farming-related. Only a tenth of those were introduced within the past hundred years.
Languages that have no word for “zero” often also do not have a word for “white.”
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In keeping with the above theme, today’s link takes you to the Linguistics Society of America. If you’re an academic or a professional in the language field, it looks like a decent organization to belong to. If you’re an armchair enthusiast like myself, you’ll at least enjoy browsing some of the publications and links.
Cheers!
Tuesday, February 9th, 2010,
by John Teehan,
Filed under: Blogosphere, Humor, Rumor, Writing| |
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It’s been a while since strange mail has arrived at my doorstep. Mail left with me, but not addressed to me. Rarely, in fact, is there any sensible address for addressee or returnee. So I read my strange mail. First up, in a plain white envelope coated lightly with dust:
Dear Dr. Henry Newage
In reviewing library records, I have discovered that you were lent fifteen books over ten years ago and have yet to return them. Accidents happen. Books borrowed are sometimes forgotten. What I found disturbing, however, is that the list of borrowed books matches exactly a list you had submitted to the library’s Board of Directors for removal on moral and scientific grounds. Apparently the previous head librarian was aware of this subterfuge, but chose to look the oher way. I, however, cannot.
I request the immediate return of these volumes in good condition. We will waive, this one time, late charges, but if any of the volumes are unrecoverable, we will be forced to escalate matters.
The volumes of note are:
The Habits and Practices of Highly Successful Rats by Deloris Pettigrew
Bag of Knobs and Boomsticks by Peter Mouse
A Secret History of the Western Swamp and Its Environs by Col. Gunther Montrose
Tuppence a Penny (or, How to Lose Your Shadow) by James Environs
Three Winds Come Through My Door (Poems) by Millicent Powers
Electricity In Ancient Mesopotamia by Halyard Mistral
Beer in Ancient Mesopotamia by Halyard Mistral
How To Sink a Ship by Gail Hops
The Daily Diet of the Aztec Merchant by Miles Killingly
Uncommon Sweetmeats by Chas. Kowalski
Five Bells, Four Sails, Three Souls by Frederick Hershey
One If By Land, Three If By Air: The Secret Air Force of the American Revolution by Henry H. Hyde
Living Like a Caveman by Durant Johnson
The Pornography of Easter Island by Kik Jones
The Twelves Days of Christmas by Fr. Francis Muldoon
In light of your past generosity to the library, the Board of Directors have asked me not to suspend your borrowing privelages. However, I have left strict instructions for you not to be lent anymore books from the children’s section, and have added a notation that before you are lent any books at all, that you see me so we can discuss this matter in person.
I look forward to that moment.
Your sincerely,
James Newage,
Head Librarian
King’s Hall Town Library
Often with my mis-delivered mail comes a note written in a reddish-brown ink upon a rough, rag paper. I have note seen these notes in a while and had hoped that the events of which they darkly hinted had been resolved.
Apparently I should be so lucky. Today’s message reads:
As events come to close, events come to unfold.
We are come enlightened. We are come confused.
As ever, we await your signal.
(signed)
Unisgned
Huh. Welcome to the return of the Friday mailbag.
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Today’s link goes to our new favorite coffeeshop here in West Warwick–Feels Like Ohm. It’s fairly new, having opened a few months after we moved here. Lots of comfy chairs. A Library full of fun books. Good coffee. Good snacks. Some great art on the walls. Occasional events. An all-round comfortable place to hang out and be a coffeeshop person. If you’re in the area, check it out.
Cheers!
Friday, February 5th, 2010,
by John Teehan,
Filed under: Blogosphere, Humor, Letters, Writing| |
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Rumor Tuesday returns! Okay, so today is Wednesday, but that’s only because this week’s Rumor Tuesday features JJ Abrams and the TV show Lost with seven things we bet you never knew about the hit ABC drama. Lost’s final season premiered last night. Nothing here is really a spoiler, so read on and remember… you read it here first! Tell your friends.
- All of the scenes that took place on the airplane and in the airport in the season six premiere episode were shot in 2004 during the filming of the first season.
- Ten of the regularly appearing extras are part of a group known in Hollywood as “The Apple Abrams Gang.” Their specialty is getting killed on film and have done so in Alias, Lost, Mission Impossible 3, Cloverfield, Star Trek, and Fringe. They’ve been shot, burned, blown up, crushed, eaten, and dragged underground and underwater.
- One of the Apple Abrams Gang, Henry Piper, is particularly known for being crushed under the same papier mache beam in five appearances: Star Trek, Cloverfield, Alias, and Lost (twice). He has affectionately named the beam “Fuzzy.”
- Nestor Carbonell, the actor who plays Richard Alpert, lost a finger in a fishing accident when a child. He usually wears a prosthesis and covers it up with props or creative camera angling. In the Lost season six premiere, the missing finger is briefly visible in the sand underneath John Locke’s shoe and the actor is clearly filmed with only nine fingers when he is draped over Locke’s shoulders.
- Lost was originally pitched to NBC where network execs wanted to rework Abrams’s concept into a comedy. Abrams wrote three episode treatments as part of a contract agreement, received payment, then promptly offered the original drama concept to ABC. NBC still holds and owns the comedy treatments and have until 2015 before all rights revert back to Abrams..
- JJ Abrams occasionally claims that the inspiration for Lost occurred in the late 1990s when he came across a passage in a copy of Robinson Crusoe which he had borrowed from a hotel library. The passage reads, “I had thought I had lost all but time, but another on this island seeks to take time from me as well.”
- On Lost, the leader of the Temple Others speaks in a Kansei dialect from the mid-16th century Japan. His translator’s eyeglasses are based on an 18th century design by Benjamin Franklin.
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Today’s link goes to the Friends of Attleboro Animal Shelter in Attleboro, MA. This is where we got Daisy and she appears in their Happy Tails section now as one of their many successful placements.
Send them money.
Cheers!
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010,
by John Teehan,
Filed under: Blogosphere, Dog, Humor, Rumor| |
No Comments
Rumor has it… Harold Lloyd’s “Glasses character” was the inspiration for Superman’s identity as Clark Kent. Like that character, Lloyd found that he could hide his identity simply by taking off the glasses.
Rumor has it… Silent film star Charlie Chaplin was a big believer in developing an affordable color film process for movies. He announced that he often performed for free (under another name and without the trademark toothbrush moustache) in many experimental color films.
Rumor has it… Before movie-houses became popular, films were usually shown as sideshow attractions at carnivals and state fairs.
Rumor has it… Stunt doubles were virtually unknown. During the filming of Pandora’s Box (1928), the scene in which Nancy runs alongside of and boards a moving train, no stunt double was employed. The movie’s star, Louise Brooks, actually performed the stunt.
Rumor has it… The first stand-up comedy film appeared during the silent era. Jerome Reed performed a stand-up comedy act in front of an audience in Newark, NJ. He stood next to a large easel in front of a brick wall and told his jokes while an assistant revealed a series of caption cards. Occasionally the film woild cut to show the audience who had been given a series of placards that read words such as “Laugh,” “Groan,” “Applause,” and “Wild Applause.”
Rumor has it… Buster Keaton’s stunts were so dangerous that no insurance company was willing to insure him or his films. Instead, Keaton acquired financing by taking out a series of gambling wagers depending on the number of injuries he and his crew would suffer in each film. As a result, Keaton’s films were the most profitable films made in Hollywood at the time until state treasury officers shut down his operation. By this point, though, Keaton was a popular enough star that studios were willing to sign him on even without insurance.
Rumor has it… In 1919, Harold Lloyd lit a cigarette with what he had been told was a prop bomb. Instead, it turned out to be real and exploded, blowing off Lloyd’s right thumb and index finger. After he recovered, Lloyd took to a white glove while on screen to conceal the damage. He performed the infamous clock-clinging stunt in Safety Last (1923), using only eight fingers.
Rumor has it… Clara Bow hooked up and had an affair with Bela Lugosi (before Dracula (1931) made him infamous) in the late ’20s. Lugosi displayed a nude portrait of Bow in the bedroom of his Hollywood apartment until his death.
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Today’s link goes to a new webcomic I’ve stumbled across created by T Campbell, Erica Henderson, and Phil Kahn. Check out Guilded Age. I’m not familiar with two of the creators, but I’ve been a fan of T Campbell’s Faans! for many years. Guilded Age looks to be a heroic, epic fantasy story. It’s still in the first chapter and we’re still meeting the main characters, but it shows a lot of potential and I heartily recommend keeping an eye on this one.
Cheers!
Tuesday, October 27th, 2009,
by John Teehan,
Filed under: Uncategorized| |
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Welcome to Friday! Today’s mailbox contained no envelopes, but two handwritten notes. The first note appears on paper yellowed with age in a rusty-brown colored ink.
Dear Mr. Grocer,
Please receive this, our list of monthly supply requests. I know it’s a little less than usual, but Smith Jr. is still under the Klondike and is not expected back for another three months. You know how teenagers get. Anyway…the list:
1 antelope side
4 cases of thrush
1 box of salted tuna fin
20 pounds of Caspian coffee
1 bar of Madagascar butter (frozen)
2 jars of Haxil’s Powder
2 jars of Haxil’s Ointment
1 jar of Haxil’s Flakes
1 bottle of Flavor of Egypt
2 oranges (seeded)
2 oranges (unseeded)
4 pints of orange juice (with seeds)
3 bottles of Mongoose sauce
3 Mongoose
In addition to the consumables, I’ll also need the usual monthly kitchen cutlery set, flour sifter, and coal bucket.
Oh, and some blackberry gum if you have any. If you’re out of blackberry, then forget the gum altogether.
Thank you. Delivery should be made at the usual place and the usual time–sunset at the Grievous Smith Caves. You’ll find the money en route in its usual spot under the gatekeeper’s tongue.
Thank you.
The Smith Family
Slipped within the folded yellow page is the expected note on rag paper with the expected crimson ink. It reads:
To Whom It May Concern:
We are thinking of ordering lunch. While we await your signal, we also await news on what you’d like.
We’re thinking Chinese
signed
(unsigned)
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Today’s link goes to the webcomic Least I Could Do. It’s a pretty fun webcomic. I’ve heard some accuse the authors of engaging in wish-fulfillment fantasy, but I take it more as a feel-good sort of comic where fun things happen to a guy who knows how to have fun and happens to be insanely lucky enough to be able to act on it. Be forewarned…some of the humor is risque–maybe even offensive to over-sensitive types, but there’s a lot that can be enjoyed by anyone.
There are several years worth of archives. The artwork does not start out great, but stick with it for the writing, and in a few years–particularly when Lars Sohmer takes up the pen–the art becomes quite good. This is the same team that brings us Looking For Group.
Checking it out is the least you could do.
Cheers!
Friday, October 23rd, 2009,
by John Teehan,
Filed under: Blogosphere, Humor, Letters, Webcomics| |
No Comments
With Halloween coming up, this week’s Rumor file features its Spooky edition.
Boo!
Rumor has it… The most haunted building in recorded history is the former asylum for the insane in Vienna which once housed Salieri, a contemporary and rival of Mozart. Reports of piano music, moaning, apparitions, doors opening and closing, strange lights, specftral visions, darkmen, and unexplained screaming have plagued the edifice for generations. Today the building serves as a storage facility for the Austrian municipal park system and is still haunted.
Rumor has it… Ghosts and hauntings are mentioned six times in The Bible.
Rumor has it… According to the International Paranormal Institute, there are twelve documented cases of dogs being haunted, and three cases of of parrots being haunted. Also, while there are countless cases of ghosts being sighted on ships and submarines, there are no documentated cases of apparitions aboard airplanes.
Rumor has it… According to the journal of the pilot of the Mayflower which delivered the Pilgrims to the New World, a sailor who signed on in Denmark was accused of vampirism by a pair of Pilgrims (John and William Water) and thrown overboard. Both men died of dehydration before landing in Plymouth. The incident is not mentioned in any of the colonists’ documents–and there is no mention of anyone, not even wives or children, with the surname of Water.
Rumor has it… Dracula author Bram Stoker was a member of The Golden Dawn, a mystical organization based in Great Britain devoted to magical studies based on esoteric interpretations of the Kaballah and Egyptian mythology. Other members included Eliphas Levi, Arthur E. Waite, and Aleister Crowley. Stoker left the organization after one of is many re-organizations following the creation of the American branch in Chicago.
Rumor has it… In Asia, vampires don’t so much fly as they jump around.
Rumor has it… Vampires fall victim to sunlight, garlic, holy water, and stakes through the heart. Werewolves succumb to silver bullets and wolfsbane. According to legend, a mummy can only be stopped by placing sheets of clean rice paper in its path, then setting the paper ablaze from a flame fed with beeswax and jasmine.
Rumor has it… Speaking of mummies, they were once so prevalent in Egypt that they were often used as fuel in steam engines.
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Today’s link goes to ComicBookScriptArchive.com for a fairly decent collection of MSWord Docs and PDF files of various comic book scripts. If you’re looking for info on how to format a comic book script, this is a good place to check out.
Cheers!
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009,
by John Teehan,
Filed under: Blogosphere, Humor, Rumor| |
No Comments
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