Archive for July, 2009
This week’s mail includes the usual hand-pressed rag paper missive, plus a very official looking business envelope which doth readeth:
Dear Applicant,
Thank you for sending us one of your prototypes to review. We are returning the prototype by special delivery. Unfortunately, we cannot recommend your invention to our clients or investors at this time. You may want to consider tweaking some of the features and removing some of the bugs before submitting your invention with us or another broker. Some suggestions:
- Most users will not expect or desire sudden change in hair color whenever your device is switched on.
- While the orgasmic side effect will be desirous to some users, it is inconsistent in both strength and frequency. Needs tuning.
- Should everything taste like cashews?
- While we are sure it’s just a coincidence, did you realize that all of your suggested brand names are also unforgiveable curse words in five languages in potential market zones?
- We feel that, even after you have fixed some of the bugs, there should be a warning label on the side cautioning use by pregnant women or anyone with braces on their teeth.
- Likewise, a label advising external use only might also be advisable.
- The adaptations for housepets, while clever, will get you into more legal trouble than would be worth it.
- Can it also catch fish? It seems like it… well, we thought it worth asking. Finally…
- Nine out of ten times, everything seemed to work fine… but that tenth time? Woah!
Thank you for thinking of us. Good luck and for god’s sake, be careful!
(signed)
Philo LeBlatt
Corking Ingenuity
I’ll keep my eye out for the prototype, but the really cool stuff never actually makes it here.
My friends of the watchtower continue to send me messages.
To Whom It May Concern,
We’re getting hungry up here
And are considering ordering a pizza
If you are interested in going in on it with us
We desire to know your toppings preference.
(Truth be told, we’re hungry up here, and bored. As ever, we await your signal.)
(signed)
Unsigned
Not the most ominous of notes they’ve ever sent me… or is it?
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Today’s link goes to Error - You have spent too much time on the net. It’s pretty self-explanatory. I think it woulod be interesting to find more links leading to this page. About half of what one might see on Youtube, for instance.
Cheers!
Filed under: Blogosphere, Letters, Writing | |No Comments
I spend a lot of time in the basement. No surprise, it’s where I do the majority of my work. On the very day we moved in, I made sure that I had a working space in the basement with ready access to power and internet connections. Since then, I’v been slowly transforming the basement from a place where a lot of stuff has been stored–and my office to: my office–with some storage tucked away.
It’s slow going because paying work always has to come first, but little by little I’m putting my stamp on the place. I have a bit more room in this basement than I did at our old apartment, many options for layout, and all the time in the world. No rush. I have some bookshelves set up. Some work surfaces. Some file storage. That’s about it right now. I need to set up many more bookshelves, a couple of more workspace areas, and filing cabinets for that which isn’t already digitized.
And then there are the walls.
My plan is to cover every conceivable bit of wall and post space with bits of geek artifactry, ephemera, and other such wonderful strangeness. Old fanzine cartoons, columns and letters, pieces to old computer, sailing, and roleplaying magazines, Comics. Post cards. Hollywood glossies. Movie cards. Newspaper clippings. Whatever I come across that seems of interest and can be tacked or taped to a wall. Big or small. Actually, a lot of small because I want to cover all the nooks and crannies. Leave no wood exposed. It should take a person days to read my basement.
I’m not saying it’s a good plan. But some people have no plan at all.
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That said, today’s link takes you The Ephemera Society of America. In their own words:
The Ephemera Society of America, Inc. is a non-profit organization formed in 1980 to cultivate and encourage interest in ephemera and the history identified with it; to further the understanding, appreciation, and enjoyment of ephemera by people of all ages, backgrounds, and levels of interest; to promote the personal and institutional collection, preservation, exhibition, and research of ephemeral materials; to serve as a link among collectors, dealers, institutions, and scholars; and to contribute to the cultural life of those who have an interest in our heritage as a nation or a people, both nationally and internationally.
A worthy organization if ever I’ve seen one.
Filed under: Blogosphere, Fanzines, Home ownership, Publishing, Writing | |No Comments
This week’s mini review is actually going to be made up of five mini-mini reviews of iPhone apps I find myself using the most.
Twitterific: I’ve been getting addicted to Twitter lately. The recent Comic-Con in San Diego really highlighted for me how entertaining the whole Twitterverse can be given the right circumstances. Seven or eight of the folks I “follow” on Twitter were at SDCC as either attendees or guests and I got an interesting perspective of the cultural event from the point of view of folks on the floor–as they were happening. Pretty cool. I’m also using Twitter to keep abreast of local and national news, traffic reports, and what certain publishers are up to. Then there are the folks I know from facebook–some of who have Twitter accounts–and I’m seeing a whole different level of social networking in action. Fascinating stuff, but probably not for everyone.
Facebook: There is a specific app for Facebook users on the iPhone that integrates smoothly with your Facbook account and is a lot faster than trying to access Facebook through the browser. Granted, the news feeds and such aren’t as complete, and navigating some of the thread conversations are a little awkward, but it handles the photos real well and I love the feature where I can use the iPhone’s camera to take a photo and immediately upload it to Facebook. I don’t know if you can run Facebook’s plethora or games and quizzes, but those aren’t something I do anyway.
Simplenote: I’d been looking for a simple To Do sort of program that was a.) free and b.) something I could sync with a desktop computer so I could use a real keyboard instead of trying to key everything in on the iPhone’s keyboard. Simplenote pretty much fits the bill. It wasn’t free, but 99 cents is almost free, and it comes with free registration to the webpage which allows you to compose your notes online (so you can use any computer anywhere so long as there’s web access) and your notes sync online. There’s no “check box” feature where you can easily check off or cross out items–but you can edit your documents on the iPhone and come up with your own system of checking off items. And you’re limited to To Do lists. I’ve loaded a few short stories and other useful documents. Good stuff.
Guitar Tab: This program is very similar to Simplenote although the connection isn’t through the Internet, but via a WiFi connection to your desktop computer. It’s also designed more for readers of tabulature. While the name denotes guitar, you can use pretty much any kind of tab text file such as banjo, tenor banjo, mandolin, fiddle, and so on. You can rotate and zoom which is a nice feature.
Stanza: I’m not ready for Kindle. Too expensive, for one thing. And it sounds like Amazon is still working out some bugs internally. For a portable book reader, though, I’m enjoying Stanza. There’s a great online browser for books–both free and fairly cheap. It integrates well with my Fictionwise account, and by using a separate program on your desktop, you can download other book files directly to the iPhone. The default setting for text size and lighting make for easy reading. There are settings for different lighting conditions, bookmarking features, and a neat little page flip. Oh, and it’s a free download. Gotta love that.
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Today’s link takes you the Mandolin Cafe, a website devoted to all things related to the 8-string instrument. This is a fine site for folks looking for bluegrass and Irish tabs (note that many can be easily converted for use for the tenor banjo or fiddle). Lessons. History. Loads of articles. Much fun to be had here for mandolin and other related-instrument players.
Cheers!
Filed under: Blogosphere, Music, Ogre's Pick, Reviews, Writing | |No Comments
Rumor has it… singer Alanis Morisette’s first paid musical gig was as an Elvis impersonator at a Saskatchewan country fair when she was 14 years old.
Rumor has it… the average person produces eough saliva in their lifetime to fill two swimming pools.
Rumor has it… while filming The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, actor Bill Murray discovered a fear of being submerged in water, a phobia he had not yet realized he had. Scenes in which Bill Murray is diving were actually performed by co-star Jeff Goldblum.
Rumor has it… more minor household injuries are caused by thumbtacks than any other common household item.
Rumor has it… author Mike Resnick, while attending a script meeting in Hollywood to discuss possible filming of his book Santiago was asked by one studio exec, “Could we make one of the twins black?”
Rumor has it… you are five times more likely to be sneezed on in the morning than you are in the afternoon, but being sneezed on in the afternoon makes you more likely to catch harmful germs.
Rumor has it… Douglas Adams, creator of the Hitchhiker’s Guide series, was once approached by an individual who sought the rights to adapt the series to radio–unaware that the series began as a radio play on the BBC.
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Today’s link goes to Mike Glyer’s web incarnation of his fanzine File 770: news of science fiction fandom. It looks like Mike attended SDCC and hung out with Ray Bradbury for a bit. This page is in blog format, but there are links along the upper right to download PDF files of the print version which has a much more look-and-feel of a traditional fanzine.
Enjoy!
Filed under: Blogosphere, Fandom, Fanzines, Humor, Rumor, Writing | |No Comments
I was watching the Hitchcock classic Rope last night–a riveting movie with a great cast and direction. But I got to wondering…how would a remake look? For one thing, the murdering know-it-alls Dall and Granger could be played easily by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. And Rupert Cadell would be played by Robin Williams.
Well, this is how it could have worked out if a remake was made ten years ago. I think all three would be too old for their roles by now–maybe not Williams, but Affleck and Damon are far beyond college-age characters now. Even Leonardo DiCaprio would be too old. Who could play those roles now? Why do I think Zach Braff could do one of the roles? Maybe team him up with Shia LaBuouf.
Or maybe cast women? Natalie Portman. Ellen Page. Megan Fox. Felicia Day. Summer Glau would be great. And for the mentor role, maybe Julienne Moore, Marina Sirtis or…oooh… Meryl Streep. Maybe even Helen Mirren.
Who to direct? Kevin Smith is master of the two-head shot, but he wouldn’t be able to do the fancy long takes Hitchcock did. I think Quentin Tarantino would do an interesting job. Yeah, he’s up the adreneline factor a notch or five, but he has the directorial skills to pull off a decent version of Rope. Other possible directors might be Bruce McDonald, Steve Buscemi, the Coen Bros., David O’Russell, or Spike Jonze.
Why not Woody Allen? He’d do a very good job–no question on that. He probably has the most experience in that sort of direction, but I kind of doubt he could bring anything new to the story.
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Well, no time for love, Dr. Jones. Back to work. It’s Monday and there’s a lot to be done. Without further ado, today’s link sticks with the theme of the above brief movie discussion: Alfred-Hitchcock.com. It’s pretty much what you expect–biography, filmography, trivia, quotes, and more. Well worth checking out if you’re a Hitchcock fan, old or new.
Cheers!
Filed under: Blogosphere, Movie review, Reviews, Writing | |No Comments
I had thought after I moved that I would cease receiving strange packages and missives. That doesn’t seem to be the case. I have met my new mail carrier and she seems a pleasant young lady–not the sort to leave disturbing packages at my door which are not directly addressed to me, nor strange envelopes lacking proper postage.
Yet they have caught up with me. This week I received a long, narrow box with a rolled up piece of paper and a large, black, slick feather. Upon the paper was writ:
To Number Twelve:
In seeing to the wishes of The Darcy, the Twelve Black Feathers have been delivered thusly:
Number One was given to the Boy Behind the Rock
Number Two was left with the Maid Behind the Bar
Number Three was delivered to the Dog In the Rushes
Number Four was presented to the Knight At the Clock
Number Five was handed to the Girl Up the Tree
Number Six was furnished to the Cook in the Kitchen
Number Seven was dispensed to the Knave
Number Eight was bestowed upon the One-Armed Tinker
Number Nine was conferred upon the Queen of All In Sight
Number Ten was turned over to the Running Man
Number Eleven was entrusted to the Shadow Under the Bridge
Number Twelve, right here, has been given up unto your hands and now the wishes of The Darcy have been fulfilled.
May God have mercy on us all.
(signed) The (former) Agent of The Darcy
I have no idea what to do with this, but I have a stack of old feathers that have appeared in other deliveries, so I guess I’ll just add this one to the pile.
What could go wrong?
Also with this week’s mail is a curiously familiar looking piece of rag-pressed paper with a message scrawled in crimson ink. I had hoped these guys wouldn’t have followed me, but it seems whatever wire got crossed that resulted in my receiving their odd little messages has yet to get uncrossed. This one reads:
To Whom It May Concern,
We see that the winds are changing.
We note that the seas are rising.
We observe that when the wind howls,
it is not always the wind.
We await your word, we seek your signal.
(unsigned)
*sigh* Into the pile it goes.
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Today’s link takes you to the official webpage for the San Diego Comic-Con, the biggest comic book and media convention in the country. (I’d say the world, but I’m not sure if Japan’s Komiket isn’t bigger.) Anyway, Comic-Con is going on right now and I’ve been following a few people’s progress via facebook and Twitter. Wish I could be there myself, but then again… kind of relieved that I’m not. That many people? Yeesh.
But to get the scoop on the con, check out their website.
Cheers!
Filed under: Blogosphere, Comics, Letters, Writing | |No Comments
A couple of weeks ago I joined Twitter. I think it may have been the second application I got for the iPhone after installing their Facebook app. It’s a fun little program, although I admit I’m still learning a few things about it. (What messages are public vs. which are private, for one thing.) But that aside, I’m having fun with it. I find myself checking my Twitterific program on the iPhone every hour or two (I don’t seem to be the only one doing this–some seem to be updating their Twitters ever half hour). It’s a great way to see what friends and associates are up to, to catch the latest news in certain arenas, and to be a fanboy stalker. What’s not to like?
Who do I follow? Friends who have Twitter themselves, fellow writer-types, webcartoonists, certain publishers, news orgs, the occasional pop-culture person. A brief sampling:
Diablo Cody
Joathan Strahan
Tom Piccirilli
John Joseph Adams
Wil Wheaton
Kevin Smith
Jason Mewes
The Penny Arcade guys
Gaelic Storm
Pete Purvis
SLG Publishing
Overlook Press
Intellect Books
UChicagoPress
Strange Horizons
Neil Gaiman
Jennie Breeden
Randal Milholland
Jeff VanderMeer
Michael Jasper
Tim Pratt
Greg van Eekhout
Cory Doctorow
PVP Online/Scott Kurtz
NASA
Providence Journal
Dunkin Donuts
The New Yorker
Forces of Geek
James Urbaniak
Chuck Palahniuk
Tom Waits
Jay Lake
Scott Edelman
Deepak Chopra
Robert Sawyer
SFWA
NPR
CNN
That’s maybe a third or fourth of my current “following list”. I seem to have garnered a number of followers of my own–some being friends and associates. Others look a little like spammers. Too soon to tell in some regards. I don’t know the point of spamming on Twitter unless you can trick someone into following you.
It seems pretty flexible, too, in what one can do as far as sharing links and photos. I’ve not done too much with that yet, but I intent to. I can see this program as being both entertaining, and useful in a networking sense.
Jeez, remember when all we had for communicating with others were phones, mail, and cork bulletin boards?
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Today’s link goes to the webjournal of one of the folks I follow on Twitter, actor of stage, screen, TV and cartoon–James Urbaniak: Voucher Ankles. Urbaniak starred in two of my favorite movies by Hal Hartley, Henry Fool and Fay Grim. He’s also the voice of “Rusty” Venture and The Phantom Limb on the hit Adult Swim show The Venture Bros.. Some might recognize him from various TV roles (Law & Order, Weeds), and from movies such as American Splendor and Legally Blonde 2. (Alert readers will note he was also the subject of a recent “rumor” here this past Tuesday. That one was made up, but came from an idea I had for a short story I need to work on.
This guy should be getting more real work–not auditioning for commercials with chipmunks.
Cheers!
Filed under: Blogosphere, Writing | Twitter|No Comments
This Wednesday, The Ogre’s Pick looks at Seth MacFarlane’s Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy
I finally got around to grabbing this a couple of weeks ago. Not on DVD. Not on Blu-Ray, but downloaded from iTunes to play on either my laptop or my iPhone. Half the price of the standard DVD set which, given the overall length of the offerings, seems about right. I think I would have felt ripped off at $20, but I also don’t know what extras might have been on the DVD. For around $10 bucks it seemed worth it for just the episodes.
So what is this? If you watch Family Guy, then you’re familiar with their habit of frequent side jokes (Manatee jokes as they’re sometimes known). These are essentially fifty cutaway gags–but definitely not the sort you could see on TV! Some of them are pretty raunchy. Some, unsurprisingly, challenge the borders of either good taste or political correctness. They’re episodes that could only have been aired on the internet which, while not as Wild West as it used it be, is still where the buffalo roam.
So to speak.
They’re very much in the vein of Seth MacFarlane/Famly Guy brand humor–just not safe for TV. And like Family Guy, you’re either going to love it or hate it. Me? I’m a fan. have been since the very beginning, so these work for me, although the short-attention-span lengths are a little annoying. Average segments last only a minute or two. I’d have liked to have seen more at least five minutes in length with several themed gags strung together (one gag would be stretched too thin for more than a minute).
Highlights? “Super Mario Rescues the Princess,” “Jeff Goldblum Wafers,” “Die, Sweet Roadrunner, Die,” and the many “Things You Never Hear.” I probably could have done without “Fred Flintstone Takes a Sh*t” and “Name That Animal Penis!”
Is Seth MacFarlane’s Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy a recommendation? Only for folks who are already Seth MacFarlane fans. And I mean dedicated fans. Fans sitting on the fence may find themselves jumping off the MacFarlane bandwagon altogether (a shame considering the upcoming Cleveland Show). I’ll understand if this doesn’t garner MacFarlane any new fans.
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Today’s link goes to the Dave Willis webcomic Shortpacked!. I was trying to describe this to a friend the other night. Essentially, it’s a spin-off from Willis’s long-running webcomic It’s Walky and features a lot of humor for toy fans–particularly Transformer and other Hasbro action figures. Takes place in a toy store. Lots of wacky characters (including a former president). Well worth checking out.
Cheers!
Filed under: Blogosphere, Ogre's Pick, Reviews, Writing | |No Comments
The Rumor Monger is back now that the hiatus has ended. As usual, I make no claims to the veracity of anything printed here. Some of it might be true, but who knows for sure? They sure sound reasonable… I guess.
Rumor has it… The popular comic strip Dilbert was originally to be titled “The Office” until Scott Adams, the comic’s creator, got into an argument with a co-worker about dill pickles. The word “dill” tickled him so much during the argument that he changed the original name of his main character from Herbert to Dilbert and then decided to name the entire comic after the one character. (Side note: this story often claims the co-worker’s name was “Burt” and it was the combination of “dill” and “Burt” that spawned the final name. In truth, Adams doesn’t remember the co-worker’s name, but is pretty sure he’d have remembered if the “Burt” part of the story were true.)
Rumor has it… Every Twitter sent since 2007 is being stored in a central location where they will all be transferred to a high-storage media and be part of a payload for a deep space probe scheduled to launch in late 2010.
Rumor has it… Famed film director Akira Kurosawa, known for such classics as Rashomon, Yojimbo, and Ran, did not like the color green and tended to distrust those who wore too much of it. His battle sequences were often prefaced with green, as was the death scene of Kikuchiyu in Seven Samurai
Rumor has it… The German-owned supermarket chain Aldi’s, known for its cheap prices, imitation brands, low overhead, low maintenance, and practice of “renting” shopping carts and charging for bags also owns the Trader Joe’s chain of specialty food stores which are known for their Trader Joe branding, gourmet food selections, excellent staffing, and brightly decorated stores.
Rumor has it… British brands of chocolate use half the cocoa, but nearly twice the sugar as American brands. Their chocolate is also more likely to be whipped to the point where an average bar of chocolate in the UK weighs only two-thirds of its American counterpart.
Rumor has it… Actor James Urbaniak lost his left hand in a childhood accident. He wears a prosthetic hand with pose-able wrist and fingers designed by his uncle that is so lifelike that he makes no attempt to disguise or hide the false hand when on stage or in front of the camera.
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My most recent post to Charge of the Write Brigade is up now… also returning following my hiatus. I talk about artifact and context in writing. Today’s work will feature covers for Barbara Payton and a book on becoming a radio personality. I’ll be continuing work on a book on Gregorii Aleksandrov, making some edits to the Sondra Lee book, and plowing through the photographs for the Dead End Kids and Bowery Boys.
All this and more! Comin’ atcha!
Today’s link takes you to IFC.com, all the best news and commentary for fans of independent film. Lots of video stuff here to enjoy, plus blogs, schedules, podcasts, and more.
Enjoy!
Filed under: Blogosphere, Humor, Layouts, Rumor, Writing | |1 Comment
We’re back!
Well, I’m back. That is to say, the blog is now off hiatus. What have I been up to? Big surprise…I’ve been setting up the new household. We did the Big Move last Monday, and have been getting things slowly set up.
Details on the move? You know… I’m going to wait another week before I start writing about that. It seems that’s all I’ve been writing about for the past month, and while it’s been fascinating for me and a few folks–I think the vast majority of y’all are getting a little sick of the subject.
So… if you want news on the new house, I may start writing about the experience more next week.
Without going into the details why, I’ve been super busy the past couple of weeks, but have been getting quite a bit done just the same. The Sondra Lee book, SFWA Bulletin, and 70s Cinema book are all out on proof. The medical journal is at the printer. In process are books about the Dead End Kids (silent move era) and a book on Russia filmmaker Gregorii Aleksandrov.
The San Diego ComicCon is gearing up. Messrs Reilly and Ahlquist are heading out west for the big show, and with them will be the finished copies of Rogue Satellite Comics and The Complete Annotated Oz Sqad. I’d say I wish I could be with them, but to be honest, SDCC seems kind of daunting to me. I can’t think of a bigger event with more people. Or a convention that could be more expensive. I know a lot of people who are attending this year, and I don’t know how they do it. Well, some are probably financed by their studios and/or publishers–but those going on their own dime are probably going to feel the pinch rather hard. Then there are those poor saps who are doing a circuit. One con after another. Yeesh.
But back to the graphic novels–it’s past time to gear up some press releases and proposals for next projects. I’ll be tackling a lot of that this week as well as updating the TumbleTap webpage.
Have I mentioned I’m on Twitter now? Yep. With the iPhone came the ability to join the Twitterverse. It’s not bad. I’m following a lot of folk that I also follow on facebook, but with more updating. It’s almost like I’m stalking them. I also get newsfeeds from the local newspaper and CNN.
Look for me as jdteehan and if you have any suggestions as to who I should be following, please let me know.
I’d be twittering now, but there’s work to be done. Time to get back to it!
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Today’s link visits our old friend The New Yorker magazine. Best magazine in the world for quality writing, reviews, essays, fiction, poetry, and cartoons. And there’s online content! Long may its banner wave!
Now it’s time to go sup some coffee on the back porch.
Cheers!
Filed under: Blogosphere, Comics, Layouts, Publishing, Writing | |2 Comments
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