Generally, I’m not the sort to complain a lot. I tend toward a fairly philosophical approach to life and its various ins and outs, and not much gets to me. I’m kind of like the joke wherein a kid doesn’t speak until he’s ten years old, and then it’s just to say, “This tuna is too dry,” and when asked why he never spoke before he replies that everything up until then had been fine.

That doesn’t mean I couldn’t live without a couple of things. For instance…

Hail, Caesar

Do we really need all of these movie remakes? Okay, I can see how a remake of something like Planet of the Apes might be interesting to re-examine the story premise in a more contemporary context, but couldn’t these stories be told without having to lean on a previous franchise? Either the stories are strong enough to stand on their own, or they’re not. I hear the new Apes movie is pretty good, but how interesting would it have been had they gone for an entirely original story setup?

I could do without all of this rain. Yeah, yeah. Makes things grow and all that, but it’s been raining pretty steady all week. I could use a break.

People who get all bent out of shape when people like me futz with words. I like saying words like supposeably, sangwidge, microwabe, and yes… on occasion I’ve said irregardless. Soemtimes I’m being ironic. Sometimes I’m not.

I could do without bread that goes bad too quickly. Same goes for strawberries.

“Wild Strawberries” comes to mind almost immediately.

I could do without the vague endings of many European movies. Maybe it’s just me, but I like a satisfying closure.

I could do without not running out of paper towels at inopportune moments. And spilling things.

*   *   *

Hey, these entries can’t all be winners.

A young man decided to become a monk, so he joined the local monastery to be initiated into the spiritual life.

For the last time, I will not pull your finger.

As part of his training he was told he must live in one room, with one meal a day in complete silence. Every three years he was allowed out of the room and could say three words.

After the first three years the man was let out of the room and taken to the Abbot. The Abbot asked, do you have anything to say? The man replied “bed too hard.”

Three years later the man was let out of the room again and taken to see the Abbot. “Do you have anything to say?” asked the Abbot. The man replied “room too cold.”

After another three years the man was let out of the room again and the Abbot asked him if he had anything to say. “Not enough food” replied the man.

After yet another three years the man came out of his room and announced. “I am quitting.”

“Good,” said the Abbot, “you complain too much.”

Heh. and it’s back to work. Not that I’m complaining. This is my zen.